welcome to your

U.S.

Healthcare

portal!

Here in the U.S., your ability to contribute is what we value most. By participating in our healthcare system, you will contribute to the effort to add useless hierarchical job posts to an already failing administrative system. You also help us pay for our top-of-the-line technologies and operations, which, though often admittedly unecessary and a waste of money and resources, are very cool! Ironically, you have no choice in this matter! You must contribute, because you will fall sick.

Scroll to start your journey!

enter your information

great! now click the button to see what healthcare you're eligible for in the U.S.

calculate eligibility